Dear blog followers,
I am in shock, in grief, and in madness according to Gertrude's diary (which I may or may not have read in its entirety), Well is it any wonder that I am descending into madness like my lover, Hamlet? According to Gertrude, "Laertes caution on the perils of such a relationship she had accepted with charming good humor, her father's strictures with loving and dutiful obedience." (Seng 2) Oh I hated to distrust Hamlet as my family members warned me to. Indeed, I can't help but still love him despite his brutal words of, "You should not have believed me...I loved you not" (3.1.119-121) I had been steadfast in my loyalty to Hamlet but "Nor [was] Laertes content with a mere generalized admonition in his efforts to school [me] in lack of trust" (Seng 4) I used to always believe the best in people but my father and brother were determined to pull me into their cynicism. Laertes said, "For Hamlet and the trifling of his favour, / Hold it a fashion, and a toy in blood; / A violet in the youth of primy nature," (1.3.5-7) I understand that my brother was only trying to protect me, but I feel his predictions of Hamlet's love was a self-fulfilling prophecy. My father echoed these sentiments by saying, "Think yourself a baby / That you have ta'en these tenders for true pay, / Which are not sterling. Tender yourself more dearly" (1.3.105-107) My father advised me to not believe in Hamlet's love if only to protect my virtue, but it shocks me to find out from Gertrude's diary that he told Claudius that he would "loose" me on Hamlet to entrap him. No wonder Hamlet called me a whore and my father a fishmonger. No wonder he said, "Get thee to a nunnery. Why wouldst thou be a / breeder of sinners?" (3.1.123-124). Gertrude believe this scheme among others is the cause of my father's death as she wrote, "Polonius is only too willing to sacrifice morals to political expediency; and it is his spying, sneaking, and eavesdropping that finally brings about his own death." (Seng 5)
At this point I cannot help my descent into madness. One tragic event after another seems to unfold. Hamlet has denied both our love and rejected any ideas of a union between the two of us. Not only this, but his hate has cost me my father as well. But what do I believe? Do I believe that my father's scheming caused his own death or do I believe that Hamlet's hate killed my father? I cannot choose because either option means smearing a man that I love. No wonder I said, "I would / give you some violets, but they withered all when / my father died." (4.5.154-156) With my father's death, mine and Hamlet's love died as well. I cannot help but think that what is there to live for now?
With love forever,
Ophelia
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