Blog #2: AP English Literature Benchmark Poetry Essay & Reflection/Revision & Reflection

Blog #2: Poetry Assessment

                         Sixteenth century poet, George Gascoigne, expresses his heartache over a woman through writing a poem in which he uses gloomy diction and vivid imagery.

                         The author's first choice in his writing was that he chose to express his emotions through the use of a poem. This form of writing allows him to express his emotions over his heartache in an elegant way. Without explicitly stating his heartache, he implies it by drawing two metaphors, one between himself and a mouse and the other between himself and a fly. In both of these metaphors, the animal has just barely escaped death and is now wary of coming too close to the dangerous objects that almost killed them. In this metaphor, the author compares the dangerous objects to the eyes of the woman who broke his heart as he claims these eyes have bred his misery. He also draws a parallel between the fear of death and his fear of falling in love again, which implies that he has already been scorched once by love. By likening a heavy topic such as death with that of heartache, the extent of the author's inner turmoil is revealed. He is fearful of finding love again, but without love, his inner misery grows.

                          Gascoigne's inner misery shines outwards through his use of gloomy diction. Through words such as, "louring", "trustless", "deceit", and "grievous", Gascoigne sets the tone for the poem. His tone is miserable, which is fitting for a poem about heartache. His longing for the woman he loves is making him miserable, but he can not pursue her for fear of being hurt again. This battle between fear for himself and love for another is tearing him apart, as he can not even look upon her because she causes him so much despair. Gascoigne's depressing diction describes his attitude towards the subject of his pieces, as his heartache is causing him depression. 

                        The author creates a vivid scene for the reader by likening his situation to more common situations such as a mouse getting stuck in a mousetrap and fly just barely escaping a flame. These occurrences can be easily visualized by a reader and the accompanying emotions just as easily sympathized with. Gascoigne further creates imagery through the use of words such as "scorched" and "dazzled". This imagery allows the reader to sympathize with the author as well as to better understand the author's attitude towards love. Everyone can recognize the fear of death, but it is harder to empathize with the fear of falling in love. By comparing these situations, the author is able to demonstrate the complex emotions he is feeling                   

Reflection: 
Looking back at my first attempt at poetry analysis, I would give this essay a solid 5. While I did answer the prompt by analyzing Gascoigne's use of form, diction, and imagery, it was a very superficial analysis especially concerning form. Because I had no idea how to identify what form of poetry this poem was, my analysis of that device was nonexistent. While I was also able to identify the metaphors Gascoigne used, I paraphrased them instead of quoting from the text thereby limiting my analysis. This makes my analysis plausible, but not as persuasive as it was intended to be resulting in a 5. As we move into this school year and as I get more practice at analyzing poetry, I hope to be able to correctly identify forms of poetry such as this sonnet. My analysis would also be improved by recognizing the complexity that exists in any piece of writing that I must scrutinize. To measure how I have reached these goals, I hope to learn at least 3 new forms of poetry and try to incorporate complexity in every one of my analysis pieces from here on out.

Comment on Madison's blog:

I agree with your score of a 6. I like how you were very specific in your essay by utilizing a lot of quotes and even integrating quotes into sentences. You could raise the score of your essay by offering a more thorough analysis of the poem by analyzing the metaphors that Gascoigne drew between himself and the fly and himself and the mouse as well as analyzing the form of the poem, although I realize that would have been very difficult due to our limited understanding of forms of poetry. You were very accurate in your interpretation of Gascoigne’s attitude, recognizing the complexity of his contradicting feeling of betrayal and attraction to a woman. I also liked how you made allusions to other famous works of literature. By drawing a metaphor between his relationship with this woman and other starstruck relationships such as that of Romeo and Juliet, you were better able to express your interpretation of Gascoicge’s mindset. 

Comment on Natalie's Blog:

I agree with your score of a 4. While you did a really good job of identifying the devices and picking specific, relevant evidence from the text, your analysis was very short. Your score could be improved by offering a deeper analysis of the poem. Rather than explaining what the poem said, explain why Gascoigne said it or how he used a device to accomplish what he was trying to say. A deeper analysis would also help you address the complexity of the subject matter so that you could further explore Gascoigne’s attitude. I also agree with you that not having answered one part of the prompt detracted from your essay, although once we go more in depth about the forms of poetry in class, you will be better equipped to discuss form. Another way to bump your essay from a 4 would be to try to craft a more effective thesis. While you identified the devices that Gascoigne used, you did not identify his complex attitude towards love, something that could have been explored more thoroughly when you were analyzing the metaphors Gascoigne drew. 

Poetry Revision

                  In "For That He Looked Not upon Her", George Gascoigne expresses his heartache over his last love. Gascoigne's juxtaposition of the gleaming light of the woman he loved against his own weak and cowardly feelings allows him to demonstrate the uneven distribution of power in his previous relationship. In the form of a Shakespearean sonnet, Gascoigne uses depressing diction and binary imagery to make a comment on the depressing nature of love.
                  Gascoigne's inner misery shines outwards through his use of gloomy diction. Through words such as, "louring", "trustless", "deceit", and "grievous", Gascoigne sets the tone for the poem. His tone is miserable, which is fitting for a poem about heartache. His longing for the woman he loves is making him miserable, but he can not pursue her for fear of being hurt again. This battle between fear for himself and love for another is tearing him apart, as he can not even look upon her because she causes him so much despair. Gascoigne's depressing diction describes his attitude towards the subject of his pieces, as his heartache is causing him depression.
                   The complex nature of his love is further revealed through the shift of tone and focus beginning after line 4.  The author creates a vivid scene for the reader by likening his situation to more common situations such as a mouse getting stuck in a mousetrap and fly just barely escaping a flame. These metaphors allow the author to move from mere description of how he is unable to face this woman to an explanation of why he feels the way he does. Indeed, the tone shifts slightly as well to one of fear, although the somber tone is still present as well. In drawing these metaphors, Gascoigne chooses diminutive creatures such as the common mouse and the pesky fly. These lay in contrast with his choice of imagery to describe the woman he is in love with. He uses words such as "dazzled", "blazing", and "gleams"  to describe her, all words that depict the light. Meanwhile, Gascoigne is in a dark place due to his heartbreak. This uneven distribution of power is further enforced by the fly "which once hath 'scaped the flame". He draws a parallel between himself and the weak fly who was scorched by the bright, gleaming flame demonstrating that the flame, or in this case the woman, had all the power to hurt him, a diminutive creature.
                   Furthermore, Gascoigne uses the nature of the Shakespearean sonnet to make a declarative statement about the nature of his love. The first twelve lines of the poem follows an ABAB rhyme scheme, but the last two lines are a rhyming couplet, deviating from the rhyme scheme established previously. This also allows for a tone shift. While in the previous two lines, Gascoigne was contemplating how "grievous is the game" because of love, he seemed resigned to his miserable fate; however, in the rhyming couplet, he presents himself with two options moving forward. He can either "hold down [his] head" or "wink" . This is important because the majority of his poem has been devoted to describing how he has held his head down because he cannot make eye contact with this woman as her "blazing eyes" have bred his misery. In line 11, he presents the option of him winking at her. A wink is seen as a flirtatious gesture and to be able to wink at her means that he must make eye contact. This indicates that he is willing to take power back in his own hands by making a move, and it also indicates that he is willing to give love another try even though it has caused him so much misery.
Reflection:         

I like my revision of the poetry essay a lot more than the original because I was able to go more in depth about the author's purpose and recognize the complexity of his multifaceted view on love. The three sentence Thesis Statement and the Tone Shifts Chart really helped me with both of these things. The three sentence Thesis Statement guided me in writing an effective introductory paragraph that not only stated the devices Gascoigne used in conveying his complex attitude, but it allowed me to identify the complex attitude as well. I used to always feel restricted by a one sentence thesis statement because I couldn't fit everything that I wanted to say in just one sentence, but this three sentence thesis statement gives me more room and flexibility to express everything that I want to say. The Tone Shifts chart was also really helpful because it forced me to identify the tone shifts and the purpose of each one. These tone shifts were helpful in analyzing the underlying complexity of this piece, and it allowed me to see how his attitude towards love shifted throughout the essay. The thesis statement and tone shifts chart were helpful tools in helping me identify the complexity necessary to write my analysis, and I will use both these tools in the future.